"A Friendly Ear"

There are many reasons that I believe I have always been patient when speaking to someone who speaks English as a second language. Maybe there are obvious reasons like traveling around the world where, being the foreigner, I have no choice but to strain to understand English spoken with an accent, since it probably means I am in need of some kind of help. If I ask directions and someone is going to attempt English, I am going to do everything in my power to hear what they are telling me. And maybe I was raised in a way to embrace people of different cultures and put everyone on an equal footing when meeting and speaking to them for the first time. I have never laughed maliciously at the accents of non-native speakers and have always tried to let the quality of the character determine my treatment of the person. It is not always easy for me to understand what foreigners are saying to me, but regardless of the situation, I try- and usually succeed.

Fast-forward to my Language Proficiency Interview that I had a couple months back, which determined at what level I was able to speak Russian. I am not sure how I described that interview, but basically what happened was that a Russian speaker who I had never met (or heard speak) before sits down and asks you questions with a tape recorder rolling. He records the 20 minute interview and does not take notes or have any other distractions, we just talked. Then, a third person who has never met me before actually listens and grades the recording using what is called “a friendly ear”. This is to say that the listener wants to hear and understand what you are saying. That means that if you use incorrect tenses or cases or endings, as long as you can convey your meaning, you will not be faulted for not using the proper grammar.

Fast-forward to today. At this point, I have been learning Russian for five months and even though I have been given some encouraging words by the people who I see and speak to every day, I don’t hear any improvement. It’s not that I don’t believe them, but I have to take their words for it since I cannot hear it for myself. I have been wondering for the past few weeks how it is that I can sit at the dinner table of a person who speaks no English and carry on a choppy, but at least meaningful conversation, whereas other people that I see every day- well they might as well be speaking another language entirely. If I listen to two people speak Russian in a conversation, I can usually pick out several words, even if I don’t know what they are talking about. But some people speak so as I cannot pick out any words. I have my own saying for these people as they finish speaking a paragraph and after trying to pick some clue out to what they are saying to me, I have no choice but to respond with “нет один слова” (not one word). I know how to ask people to repeat themselves slowly, and also how to explain that I need them to speak to me like I am 5 years old- using small, easy words. If they follow those directions we can have a basic, but meaningful conversation. I have mentioned my friend Oleg as he is the one who invited me to the sauna for the first time. Every time I speak with him we are able to communicate. He knows a handful of English words. Not enough to form a sentence, but enough to punctuate his paragraphs with words to get me back on track if he sees the look in my eye that I am starting to lose the meaning. We can hang for an hour at a bar and talk over beer, yet the girl in the shop gives me with a panicked look when ask for macaroni and no one is close enough to help her translate. Some people are willing to make it work and appreciate the effort even if I am not fluent (yet). A couple of months ago Lenara said to me “if they want to hear you, they will hear you”. I knew what she meant then, but now as I sit and reflect on my current language skills, I compare myself to the people I have known over my life who speak English as a second or third (or more) language. Now I know exactly how they feel. Further, I can proudly say that I have a “friendly ear”, and can only hope for more people like Oleg who wants to hear what I say and less people like the girl in the market who would still be standing there with that dazed look on her face if I hadn’t practically walked around the counter and helped myself. 

Learning a new language is hard, really hard. And if someone asks me to repeat myself because they don’t understand my accent, I don’t have a problem with that. It’s the people that laugh at my face because I stress the first syllable instead of that last syllable that remind me of Americans who do not have a “friendly ear”. So, the next time you find yourself speaking to someone with an accent, remember a couple of things: someone with an accent speaks at least one more language than you, and if you want to hear them, you will.