Sliding Home

On Monday June 11, I rounded third and began the very short slide home, so to speak. At 8:00am I had an appointment with my landlord to get a signature signifying that I was in good standing with my rent and was leaving the apartment in acceptable condition. Lenara was there and provided much needed translation help since my landlord and I can't seem to communicate for beans. Even though the meeting took only 10 minutes, in true Ukrainian fashion she was more than two hours late, blaming her tardiness on the fact that her 5 year old son was still sleeping. It was fine with me, since it allowed Lenara and Oleg to join me for some final hour quality time with cherry pie and laughs. The time finally came for me to call Viktor for my final taxi ride to the bus station. I asked that no one join me at the station for a ceremonial send off, preferring a proverbial ride off into the sunset to a prolonged goodbye complete with tears. It’s not to say I wasn’t sad to leave, I was, but my last few days with Lenara were some of my finest memories of the past two years and I didn’t want to tarnish it by becoming a wreck on the bus platform. Viktor arrived and took my baggage and I on the last 3km ride in Razdol'noye. Oleg and Lenara waited with me on the curb in front of my building, but I didn’t turn around as I got into the car...I had to start my understated exit sometime. Viktor spoke to Lenara for a few seconds as he slammed the trunk lid closed. The ride was quiet and Viktor helped me get my bags out of the trunk of the taxi, refusing to accept my payment for the ride. He shook my hand and quietly spoke the words "good luck". I knew at that moment what he was asking Lenara. As he left I had to go buy my bus ticket and waiting on the platform was Dr. Jenya from English Club. I smiled and told him I didn’t want anyone to see me off, but he said he just wanted to say goodbye. I assured him I was good with the exception. We stood and made small talk for a few last minutes, the bus came and like that I was off.

Lenara and I standing at the "you are leaving Razdol'noye" sign

Over the weekend I had given Lenara a bag of gifts that I had been collecting for her. Some mailed from America, others bought in local shops. One of the things was a letter I had written to her explaining the impact she has had on my life over the past two years. It was a thank you letter of sorts, but more than that, too. I could not overstate the importance of her friendship and wanted to make sure she knew it. Additionally, there was a photo of me with her family I had put in the bag. I saw her on Sunday and she thanked me for the photo, complimenting me on my Russian writing on the reverse. There was no mention of a letter. As I sat with her on Monday morning I asked why she had not mentioned the letter. She said she hadn't seen a letter, but vowed to look again. She worked the rest of the day on Monday and had some after-work commitments which kept her out for a few hours. While I was on the train, where cell service is spotty at best, at one point when sitting in a station I answered. The voice on the other end was intermittent. Only the caller ID gave me an indication of who I was speaking with. With the strength of a voice fighting past tears, I listened as she collected her thoughts and composure enough to say that she had found the letter. She was thanking me for my words, admitting that some of the ink was already rendered unreadable due to the number of tears soaking the paper. I can only surmise that her reaction meant she felt the same way I did. That is what makes me feel good. You don’t feel that way about someone who doesn’t have an impact on your life- like she had on mine. The train began to roll out of the station and I opted to gently end the conversation, knowing that within minutes we would once again be out of cell range and I didn’t think that a dropped call would have been an acceptable way to end this particular conversation.

a small part of the letter I gave her. tear stained.

I arrived in Kiev on Tuesday morning with a checklist in need of signatures and two appointments on Thursday. I had to do things like meet with the service department to get a signature that I had turned in my Peace Corps issued equipment. Then I had to close my bank account. Then meet with various grant departments to certify that I had no outstanding debts in that area. I got everything done on Tuesday except my meetings with the doctor and the country director who were scheduled for Thursday. I called Pavel and Vera (host brother and sister-in-law) in Chernigov to confirm my Wednesday visit. I took the 9:00am bus on Wednesday and was meeting Vera at noon. We walked to their apartment catching up and also talking about the "Tanya situation". For fear of a mistranslation I will spare any private details, but suffice it to say that Tanya's death last year seems to have put a significant strain on relations between Sasha (Tanya's husband) and the rest of the family. We went to Pavel and Vera's for lunch. I spent the afternoon with this family who has been so wonderful to me on all counts and filled them in on my near future plans. Maxim was there and I met their new son, Arteom, for the first time too. 

me with Arteom and Maxim

two of the most important people to me in Ukraine: Pavel and Vera

Pavel had promised to make grilled chicken for my last Ukrainian meal and it did not disappoint. I love shashlik and I always liked his best. It was a quiet, but fun dinner and before we knew it, it was over. I had to leave to catch my bus back to Kiev. I got back around 10:00pm and met up with some friends for a quiet evening of stories and reminiscing. Thursday was my last day as a volunteer and I had the final meetings to get the final signatures on my checklist. At 3:00pm I had my brief, but fun meeting with the country director. His name is Doug and he has been our director during my whole service. I met him a few times at different functions, starting with our arrival through some of the programs we attended throughout service. We got right to business, he reviewed and signed my DOS (description of service) which is the only official record of what I accomplished during my service. I got his required signatures and sat back on the couch in the office. He asked me to tell him a story. I used one story that I think perfectly illustrates the concept of operating outside of my comfort zone. I told him about my first weeks at site when I was invited to sauna for the first time and how my mental preparedness for the experience differed so much from the reality that it became. We talked about some advice we heard at the same time that was simply, "never turn down an invitation". It was this advice that followed me through service and pushed me into some of the best experiences of my life. It was solid advice. Doug then went through his laundry list of feedback questions asking for ways to improve the program or certain parts of it. And as fast as it began, it was over. Around 3:30pm I submitted my completed checklist to the Volunteer Support Department and was told the last thing I need to do was “ring the bell”. It is not like a requirement or anything, but something that most volunteers look forward to. There is a captains bell on the second floor of the office and ringing the bell signifies you are done. Like done done. As in unemployed. Some people ask around for an audience, while others don't want the fanfare and just go with a photographer and quickly make a pose and end their service. I chose not to ring the bell. Some think that I should have. But since when do I care what other people think? I mean, it's just a bell. I know what I did. I know what I accomplished. My work and time in Ukraine cannot be taken away. Afterwards, nine of us went to a restaurant for a great last dinner in Ukraine. It was pizza, and it was good. 

six of us had just completed our service that day. celebratory dinner of pizza

In the evening we went to a beer tent in Independence Square and sat and talked into the night. We were really done. With only one more sleep standing between then and our flight in all different directions. We all stayed at different places so we just met at the airport on Friday morning. We were a little early, but it was still quality time with these friends who I didn't know more than 27 months ago. As I stood in line at the check-in counter my phone rang. It was Lenara wishing me a good flight for the last time. Her timing couldn’t have been better. We said our last goodbye, ending with the affirmation that I would see her soon. I don’t know when, but it will happen I am sure. Whether in Ukraine, in America, or in some third location, but it will happen. I turned off my phone which finally closed the communication between me and my Ukraine experience.

I will land at London's Heathrow Airport in an hour and my life in Ukraine will become more a part of my past with each passing day. Back to the life I left behind 27 months ago. I come back a somewhat different, somewhat same man made all the better in the interim since I last set foot on American soil. What’s next?