You Did Valentine's Day, I'll Do Our Anniversary

Dear Sim,
We couldn't have planned this better if we had tried.  I was planning on writing a blog entry for our 14th anniversary, but thought to myself..."hmm, what if Sim writes one too?"  As if you read my mind, you wrote one for Valentine's day, I could now blog away for our anniversary.  But, I am not the writer that you are. After hearing Faith Salie on Sunday Morning speak about  love padlocks, the very same ones we saw in Kiev and Odessa where we have our own, I knew I wanted you to read what she had to say...her words rang very true and were probably a lot more eloquent than mine.


Faith Salie: Please stop with the love padlocks

Our Love Padlock - Odessa

It's almost Valentine's Day, and we're bombarded with symbols of love everywhere: red and pink, hearts, flowers, chocolates. But there's another symbol, multiplying in clusters, creeping towards us: the "love padlock."
 

Kiev

If you've been globetrotting lately, then maybe you've seen them in Prague, or Cologne, or Seoul, or Moscow, or Paris.  Love padlocks are a trend in which lovers write their initials on a lock, affix it to an otherwise picturesque setting, and throw away the key forever, usually into a river below.  

And now it's spreading like a cancer to North America, coming to a monument near you. It's graffiti! It's like carving your initials on the Coliseum. Or spray-painting "ASHLEE+JASON 4EVER" on the Ponte Vecchio.

Kids, if you feel the need to declare your love publicly, please do it on your Facebook wall, not the Great Wall. Not only are these padlocks unsightly and surely bad for the environment -- what with all those keys in rivers -- but they're a horrible metaphor for love.

Real love is more than a one-time seemingly iron-clad pledge that we will never be apart. If you're over 20, you've probably figured out that meaningful love isn't constricting; it doesn't chain you to one place or to each other. Mature love allows us to stretch, to grow at different rates, and we choose to re-join over and over, ideally with renewed appreciation and gratitude. Moreover, throwing away the key irrevocably? When you offer your partner the key to your heart, he's not supposed to fling it away. If you must leave your mark, I suggest a return to the centuries-old tradition of exchanging another kind of lock: hair!  It's an apt symbol: if you entwine your hair with your beloved's, you weave something stronger. A braid is essentially a rope -- which can be a connector and a lifeline, not a shackle. 

So tie one onto the Pont des Arts. Happy Valentine's Day! Now go pick a lock.

Faith's words defining "mature love" rang a bell - it's what I've been saying for 2 years now and how I've always felt about our marriage, she just said it a lot better than what I could come up with. (fyi - no need for braids).

No distance or time apart has weakened our love and friendship. The vow we took on Feb 22, 1999 is as strong now as it was then - our hearts are locked together (and we did keep one key). Our minds and souls are free to roam, to grow and experience all the world near and far has to offer...and there is no one else I would rather roam the world with than you.

Happy 14th Anniversary.
I love you.