…And Sometimes When You Don’t Speak The Language, You Agree To Strange Things

Last week Tanya (host mom) asked me if I would be around to meet her friend, Tanya (yep, there are an extraordinary number of Tanya and Sasha’s here). I understood that Tanya (friend) was a professor of mathematics at the local university and that she was also taking English classes, leading me to assume that she wanted to stop by to meet me, practice her English and visit Tanya (mom). Tanya (friend) came last Wednesday and we talked a little bit about my travels and hers. I got the standard questions…”Where in America are you from?”, “What do you mean you have been married for 12 years and have zero children??”, and “How much money do you make at your job in New York?”. She pulled some literature from her purse. All of the words were Russian, so I didn’t spend much time “reading” through it. I was getting the impression though that this was like a side business for her, although she said that her “friends” owned the company. Then, on Monday, Tanya (mom) asked me if was busy on Wednesday around 6pm? I said I would make myself available. I also thought I understood that we were going to see where Tanya (friend) worked [like, at the university]. So, last night Tanya (mom) walked me up to an apartment building. As we walked into the building, I thought to myself, “I must have thought we were going to her office, but we are going to her apartment”. We went into the apartment to realize that I was the guest of honor at a multi-level marketing presentation! I felt like a turkey showing up to the Thanksgiving table and asking “what’s for dinner”. To set the scene, there is a room with 12 chairs, Tanya (mom), Tanya (friend) sit in the back row, a presenter stands, and one other woman sits in the back, and I am seated front and center. The multimedia presentation was given in English (for my benefit!) and started with a video in which a man recounts a conversation he had with God about why people consume unhealthy drinks, and where these people could get the healthy drinks [curious as to why God did not outline a business plan for him to spare the company from having to ambush me into this apartment, but I will reserve that question for the next time God wants to talk to me about my beverage intake]. After the hour long presentation I was formally asked to join their company. How could I say “No”? I mean, the presentation was so compelling! Fortunately, I was able to tactfully tell them that I wasn’t comfortable making that type of commitment at this time. And like that, we were escorted out of the apartment (probably to give them time to debrief and discuss how they misinterpreted the word “sucker” scrawled on my forehead). I did some research and it appears that this company may have been forced to cease their claims to reverse the effects of radiation exposure (hence trying to target market near Chernobyl). Proof, to me, that snake oil salesmen still exist.
When we got home I asked Tanya (mom) if she knew why I was asked to that presentation? She said because Tanya (friend) wanted me to see where she worked. Since the presentation was in English, she didn’t understand what it was all about and when I was asked to join, that was in English too. She was genuinely shocked when I asserted that I was being asked to join the company and seemed a little mad that she wasn’t sure what had just happened. We’ll see what happens when I see Tanya (friend) tomorrow at English class.
Not sure what close calls I will be into next, but I will keep you updated.