For lack of a better name, I began calling this blog "hotel weird". There really was no other way to qualify it. With mom here, I was trying to do as much fun stuff as we could, while still keeping the schedule loose enough to fit in other things that popped up, if we needed to. By the end of the week we were planning to visit Yalta for the day. I wasn't sure if we were going to plan to sleep in Yalta or not. This was Thursday. Our Friday plan was to go to Bakhchisaray for lunch, so I hadn't decided if I wanted us to sleep in Yalta and go to Bakhchisaray in the morning or go back to Simferopol, sleep there, and then head to Bakhchisaray from there. I had already made a hotel reservation for Friday night and while sitting at lunch in Yalta, made the decision to call the hotel and request a second night. Unfortunately, they claimed to be fully booked for Thursday night. Without a computer to look for alternatives, I called Lenara and asked her to find a place and book a room for us. She used a website and booked a room with my blessing. It was called "Hotel Jaguar". Little did we know...
We came to Simferopol train station and asked the taxis how much to take us to the hotel. They never heard of it (which, in retrospect, should have been a sign). I had a phone number and address for the place and called the hotel to ask how far and how much they were from the train station. 7km and 40UAH was the response. I was able to negotiate a 50UAH taxi and we headed off. Half way to the hotel the taxi stalled at an intersection. The driver, after working under the hood for 10 minutes called another taxi for us. We switched cabs and headed off. It was getting pretty dark out and as we rolled into what can most aptly be described as a residential/industrial area, we started to question if we had arrived at the right location. the taxi slowed to try to see the numbers on the buildings. It looked like we had the correct address, but we were sitting in front of a car dealership! The driver turned around and we all looked for any signs of a hotel tucked amongst a service center, car wash and other auto related store fronts. We failed to spot it and I gave the phone number to the driver who called to ask what exactly we were missing. While he was on the phone, I spotted a sign reading "Jaguar, Porsche, Toyota, Lexus, Infiniti" with the word "HOTEL" printed above the word Jaguar. Now, in my time I have come across and instance of a quality restaurant located inside a car dealership (Yono's in Albany), but a hotel in a car dealership? This was a first.
The driver grabbed one of our bags and followed the directions from the people on the other end of the phone. Up to the second floor we went and were greeted by she who could only be described as the housekeeper doubling duty as the receptionist. The man the driver and I spoke with was nowhere to be found. She had no knowledge of our arrival and I explained that we had just made the reservation online three hours prior. She got on the phone to the owner (the man that we had spoken with). After handing the phone off to us to confer with him, she was happy to take our cash and give us a key. Erin was with us and even though she was not staying with us, threw the woman for a loop, as she kept asking the same question over and over, "are you staying with them?" We kept telling her it was just two of us (me and mom)staying...either her listening skills were lacking or she was reallly forgetful. She grabbed the key and showed us to our room. Sure enough located on the thrird floor of the car dealership, the newly constructed room was surprisingly clean. We certainly were among the first, if not the first guests ever in this room. New carpet, new bathroom, new construction smell. The room seemed to have everything...except drapes! Yeah, a hotel room located across the street from an apartment building- without curtains. Since I could look into their room, I expect they could look into mine! Before our hospitality coordinator could leave, mom asked a seemingly benign question of if the hotel had a hair dryer. The woman replied that that was something we should have thought to bring. We took that as a "no". At the same time I pointed out the issue that, although I love my mother very much, I hoped we could maybe get a change to a room with two beds instead of the one queen sized one we were standing in. Our coordinator at first did not seem to get why I would ask for a different room. I gently explained that at 42 years old, it was a little strange to sleep with my mom. She got on the phone to the owner who acted as problem solver. After several minutes she returned with keys to the room next door. Very well, we thought. We entered to find an identical queen mattress. It sounded that instead of moving us to the new room, they were moving only one of us. Yes, It seemed that we would have two separate rooms for the price of one. Well, in light of the absence of a two-bed room, I suppose if they weren't full for the night, this was a reasonable accommodation. Or so we thought. Mom would take the new room and I would keep the original. One snag. As we opened the door to inspect the bathroom we could see it wan't finished. No, let me rephrase, it wasn't even started! No toilet, no sink, no shower. Just freshly grouted tile in an otherwise empty room. In my time, I have stayed at some challenging hotels including one with no heat in Massachusetts in January. But never without a toilet. So, now we were to be two people staying in adjoinning rooms (without a shared door). Meaning that if mom needed to use the bathroom at any time, she would have had to walk through the hallway to my unlocked room and back. We had to make a quick decision. My first compromise was to grab the mattress off the new bed and put it on the floor in my room. It was too heavy to move. Option two was the sharing the bathroom. Option three was sharing a bed. We opted for choice three. I found the housekeeper who was busy finding bedding for the new room. I told her that we had decided to sleep in the same bed and that we would not be needing the second room. Her only response was the question was: "how?" How were we planning to sleep in the same bed? I told her it would be strange, but better than the room with no bathroom. She finally relented and I assume gave up on doing more work than she needed to, rather than agreeing we had made the decision that anyone in our spot would have. She left us to start getting ready to go out for the evening. Our door was open as she returned to knock on the door across the hall. Shockingly, we weren't the only guests! She disappeared inside and came out moments later carrying a night table in a bear hug hold. Bringing the stand into our room, we added this to the list of weirdness that was unfolding before our eyes. We left for the evening to get some dinner. When we came back, we arrived to find the dealership door locked. I rang the bell. A mechanic appeared with a set of keys and let us in, locking the door behind us.
The rest of the night was rather uneventful and the bed was surprisingly comfortable. The shower was nice, except for the fact that there was a puddle on the floor after the shower was done. A problem that should probably be addressed. At 9:00am we were pretty much ready to check out and get on with our day. We saw the old lady again and inquired about breakfast. We were told that breakfast would be offered at 10:00am. I thought, what kind of a hotel offers breakfast starting at 10:00am? One located in a car dealership, I guess. We grabbed our bags and headed out. As I write this blog and think about the way my life has changed over the past 19 months, I realized that given all the issues, this was far, far, from the least comfortable night I have spent in Peace Corps. Hell, the hot shower alone was a luxury. I guess my perspectives are changing.
view of the apartment building across the street. through our curtainless windows
besides a television that could double as a jumbotron in Times Square and a chair, this is the entire room
note the "Cafe" signs on the bay doors- very professional. It's a walkway. No, it's a car entrance. It's both!
without a light on this sign, it was a little tough to see the only indication it was the right place...the word "HOTEL" on top. I would also bet Jaguar might have something to say about their logo being used for this step down from luxury.
street level view showing the showroom and service department
the top row (with the open windows) were the rooms. the middle row, with white curtains, was the cafe/reception/billiard hall level
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