So, the flight so far is uneventful, but giving me the opportunity to reflect on Bari, Florence, and Rome.
Rome. Still Rome. Some love it, some wouldn't use a word so strong. My best experiences in Rome continue to be with the family and not with the tourists, though sometimes we are forced to be tourists. I keep trying to figure out why those who love Rome, love it so much and why I wouldn't go only so far as like. It’s a dirty city with a lot of tourists. What’s not to dislike?
Florence. At the end of our time El actually took vacation from work and we made a full on vacation. We could have gone to other cities/countries for the time, but with Covid still fucking things up and Putin’s assholery still raging in Ukraine, we felt it best to take the easy road this time and stay in a place close to our point of departure and one where we wouldn’t have to deal with Covid testing to get to or back from. Florence was a great experience for me, and I say it every time, because of who I travel with. Someone willing to try new things, places, experiences. She is not only game to try new things, but does an equal amount of research to find her own suggestions of things to see/do. It hasn’t gotten old yet.
Bari (and environs). We picked Bari for some specific reasons that were covered earlier in the blog. Smallish city. English or Italian language. Easy to access. A place to see if our dreams are realistic or do we need to rethink our strategy before we retire? The longer that we spent in Bari the more routine we developed. The more routine you develop, the more personal relationships you build. The more relationships you build, the better experience you create for yourself. Bottom line, The people of Bari we built relationships with went a long way to allow us to leave with a positive look at the city and want to go back. I am not sure if we will actually make it back, but should our travels take us to southern Italy again, I might not mind going back for a visit. Of course it won't be the same place. The same vendors may not be at the market. The friends you spent time with may not be living there still. The bars...well, who am I kidding, they will probably have the same regulars. Yeah, it won't be the same place and it will be a test of whether you can go home again. It was our home for that short period.
We packed as light as we could to get here for two months and you may not believe this, but we both agree we could have packed less! I met a guy in Bari who was biking from Athens, Greece to London. The trip was taking him 2½ months and his life was packed into four saddlebags- and that included his food and repair kit! So you can’t tell me that we can’t whittle 5 bags down to at least 4. I have clothing I bought that I never once wore. I also found a need for clothing that I failed to pack and had to buy upon arrival. There is room for improvement.
Some things to keep in mind for next time.
Work. About half way through our time here my company started getting a little wonky about my plans. So, even though I was confident in our mutual understanding (between me and the bosses), evidently the HR department had its own thoughts. When people would ask me during my time here “how did you get the time off of work” I told them, I don’t particularly like my job, so if they accepted my absence, I would return as expected. But, if they said they could not accept, I would be forced to make a job change upon my return and could maybe use the time away to research a new one. I won't go into detail here, but I felt the company made some unreasonable conditions to my absence and they were being “force to follow company policy”. However a mutually acceptable resolution was reached and I still expect to work starting Saturday (which I did). In the future I would ask for company policy clarification and start the process earlier to pinpoint dates that work best for all parties.
Timetable. When I think of aspects that I would want to try to change should we have the opportunity...for exactly what we did, I felt 2 months was too long. Let me explain. While, financially we were in a place for El and I to take a two month sabbatical, she made the choice continue to work full time. This meant that she was tied to the local workday hours in New York- which was 3-11pm for us. So, five days a week, she was committed to being at home, leaving me to my own devices. The apartment was not big, so when she is working at a desk, me watching television or even just working quietly on the computer can present distractions that when she was teaching online or otherwise in conference, I needed to remove myself from home. So, I went out and made my own time passing. Whether that was going to a café for cappuccinos or spending time down at the Piccolo, I always got the feeling that she wanted to join and share in the fun and relationships I was building. We went out most days together in the morning. When she took her morning run, I would make coffee, we would regroup for breakfast and discuss our day plans. Whether that was crafting a shopping list and heading to the market or going off to explore aimlessly, this was our together time. In retrospect, the things we did together, did not result much in the way of excitement. It was great alone time for us, but when I left on many evenings, I think there was a disappointment for her that she was not able to participate- even if excitement was rarely an adjective I would use for my socializing. Many nights it was me standing at a hightop, nursing a beer, and journaling for 3 hours, listening to my headphones- now there was a party. So, two months was too long for that. Now, if she wasn't working at all, or better yet, working on her own schedule, we would be able to make daily plans, factoring in work time that was not linked to a US timetable. We will have to keep that in mind for next time.
Expenses. I was able to keep a running ledger of our expenses accounting for all of the money spent during our time here. It will take me some time to get a final tally when I add in recent credit card expenditures and any other expenses that we may have to cover for our time away that we will find out about at a later time. However, I am personally happy to report that we, so far, are so far under budget, that it looks like our life aspirations are more realistic dreams than pipedreams.
Friends and family. When I lived in Ukraine with El stateside, I maintained that I would never want to do another stint like this without her...but would do it again in a second with her. She was the thing I missed the most in Ukraine. And today, trying to get me to pinpoint the thing I missed the most in these two months...not a thing. Of course, I love getting together with friends and socializing, but technology has come to a point where we can stay in touch with friends using various methods (heck, we were able to attend our local trivia night while away and had players across 9 time zones) That said, I would have loved to play host to friends and family in any place we end up. So, I wouldn't let my social life anchor us anywhere- even home. As long as we have each other I am confident we can make it anywhere.
Preparation. One of the big anxieties for me (and probably El too) was the nagging question, what am I forgetting or what haven't we thought of?
a) We have a keypad door handle on our front door. Before you leave, make sure to put a fresh battery in the handle.
b) We opted not to take extraordinary measures for our cars. One was parked to have someone start it once a week, while the other was just parked for the duration. Insurance coverage was adjusted accordingly (to a withdrawn from use for the one that was not driven). The one that was started started fine. The sitting had not done any favors for the brakes. In the future I will try to find someone willing to drive the car a short distance every couple of days. With the car that was not driven, I forgot to disconnect the battery and as expected, it was dead. We did jump it, but the brakes were problematic on this one too. I took it to the shop to have them load test the battery and inspect brakes. The battery was in need of replacement and the brakes needed new rotors. It is unclear how in need both of these were before we left and how much came from the sitting. We purchased rustproof rotors, so hopefully this will not be an issue next time.
c) We installed a Nest- a digital thermostat that can be viewed and adjusted online. We check it every day and see that our 55 degree minimum has not been breached. We did ask one friend who works in the area to stop in once a week to flush the toilet and report on anything that needed attention.
d) We were able to forward our mail to my sister who would send photos of incoming mail and open what we needed her to. Otherwise, she just put it in a pile for return at a later time. All of these methods seemed to have worked and we would need to repeat.
e) Reschedule any appointments for during the time we were gone or set an appointment upon return.
f) Put monthly charges on hold- like a gym membership or Netflix, we put them on hold. We did keep Hulu and were able to watch it using a VPN- I think I have heard it isn't possible to watch a US Hulu account in Italy without the VPN.
Packing. As usual, when I go on vacation, I go through my current selection of clothes to pull the items I want to travel with. Everyone, at some time, has clothing that gets worn beyond use. Threadbare socks. Underwear develop holes. Undershirts can rip. Just before every vacation I pull out all of my socks, underwear, and tshirts and find all of those items that have outlived their welcome in my clothing drawers. I purposely pack all of the items that are in need of replacement and supplement with newer items. As these items get worn on the trip I toss them instead of carting them home to be washed. This space adds up and can be used to fit items purchased abroad into luggage.
Language. And this is 100% on me. When I lived in Ukraine, for the first three months, Peace Corps required an intensive language class in addition to placing us in the home of a family who spoke zero English- thus forcing us to use what we learned and have them help you to use your language practically. I learned that when I am forced to do something, I do it. So I worked on improving my Russian to levels that they wanted to hear. However, once we got our sites, some of our work people spoke English and most did not. People who were placed in a non-English site, their Russian level improved for the next two years. Me? I had a counterpart with advanced English and was taking advantage of my placement to improve her English skills. Without a host family or a job site who was even slightly interested in what I was doing, my improvement relied on my initiative to learn it for myself by engaging in conversation and I will admit I took the easy way out. I learned the words I needed to know and would carry on basic conversations but widening my vocabulary was painfully slow due to my attitude. I knew if I was ever going to improve my skill, this was the one place to do it...all I had to do was make more of an effort. And I dropped the ball. As I left Peace Corps I was able to place as an intermediate speaker of the language, which was a win for me. But I knew that I had missed an opportunity that I might never get again. As we prepared to come to Bari I thought, I know it is only two months, but I can use this time to do some serious immersive language learning. I bought a dictionary. I got language apps on my phone. I lived with a fluent speaker for crying out loud. But, beyond the stuff I learned before we left (mostly riding in the car with El) I picked up very few words. I learned “may I have…”, “please”, and “thank you” so at least I would be polite, but adding further phrases was not on my to-do list. I leave not even knowing how to ask someone their name in Italian. It disappoints me. Not that I can’t ask a simple phrase, but because I remember how disappointed I was in my missed opportunity in Ukraine, and to have not used this time for self improvement. Well, it just kinda sucks. I had written about tools of communication such as Google Translate, but I know there is something to be said for making the effort to not have to rely on crutches like a fluent partner. Was I able to get what I needed, politely? In most cases, yes. But it seems another opportunity has been missed. Why am I thinking about this now? Because for our first time in a foreign extended stay, we wanted to go to a place where language wouldn’t be the biggest barrier, that's why we chose Italy. Next time, we probably won’t. And I know, that as much as I say I want to use a future immersion to learn another language at least to a basic level, my track record says otherwise. Like a smoker who quits every week and may or may not eventually try once that sticks, I need to be optimistic that the next time will be that for me. And if not, at least I will learn “may I have…”, “please”, and “thank you” so at least I will be polite.
Food. I loved being able to shop for our own food at the markets (farmers and super alike) and making food at home. Of course this helped with the expenses and allowed us to enjoy local items close to the source. I mean, having a guy sell you fresh made mozzarella any day you want and only being two blocks from the house- there is something great about that. A lunch with fresh mozzarella slices, fresh tomato, some basil leaves, and a drizzle of incredible tasting local olive oil- oh, and a pinch of salt. Ecstacy on a plate. And that is just one example. Great, and cheap, wine. The bread, fresh baked multiple times a day. I could go on. And I will. Fresh made pasta shops. Handmade pasta, not sold in shops. Focaccia at bakeries that have a digital countdown clock outside so you know when the next tray is coming out of the oven. And getting that focaccia hot out of the oven with rosemary, olive oil, and salt (though I admit to liking mine with a little fresh or sundried tomato on top). These were things that I appreciated that I may not have been able to have had we gotten a hotel or (or a place without a stove). True you could have a mozzarella and tomato plate at a restaurant. But buying a loaf of fresh bread is not likely to happen if you don't have a place to store it.
Weather. We have a long standing tradition of taking our yearly vacations in the winter. In most years by the time mid-February rolls around we are looking at the calendar trying to figure out just how much longer this cold is going to last. So we pick a place that is warmer than us. Don’t care where, just warmer than here and by the time we return, there is only a short time left in the season to endure. Technically, Bari qualified. But, although consistent, we were in the 40’s at night with highs in the 50’s during the day. I am not saying that we need 90’s, nor am I saying this was unreasonable, I just figured that we would be consistently in the 60’s and 70’s for most of our time there, but we weren't. I think I would prefer a little more shorts weather and less sweater weather. I’m looking at you South America! Phones. It was essential that both El and I had our own cell service plans. When we travel for a week or more, we will just get one local plan and I will either tether to her or use wifi when available. But for this long, the two plans were essential. For this trip, El got a TIM plan and I used Iliad. Not sure if one was better than the other, but when you sign up, you need to ensure you are not on an automatic plan. It is better to have to go to the store to update/pay for a month in person than have your credit card be autocharged.
Italian Trains. In Italy there are at least two competing train companies. Trenitalia and Italo. Itlalo was considerably cheaper than Trenitalia, so always check with Italo before purchasing Trenitalia tickets. Money. The ATM’s here worked fine. I withdrew from my Cap Com (credit union) account and KeyBank (standard checking account). Cap Com charged a flat 1% fee whereas KeyBank was about 5%. Needless to say, I withdrew cash from CapCom and paid bills with KeyBank. Also, without asking for which account to withdraw from, it automatically took from the checking account of both. Prescriptions. Our insurance plan sends us a three month supply of meds at once, but if your refill will come due during your time away, you can call them and they will give you an override to fill it before you leave. Call early in case they need an updated script from the doctor.
Taxes. Obviously we want to be filed (and paid if necessary) before April 15. The turnaround time is not long, and with my option of going after we file or returning before we file, my inclination is to get out of town for the coldest part of the winter and return before we have to file. We’ll see.
COVID. The last thing we had to contend with, that, hopefully, we won't the next time is Covid. Being fully vaxxed and having our documenting proof, we had no issues arriving into Europe. We were able to get a rapid test before we left just in case, but it turned out that Sweden wanted to see our card upon arrival and Italy wanted to see our card every time we sat for food service. It was the return that confused us. The US regulations change and it is very difficult to get hard and fast answers to our questions. If you go to the airline website they say it is the passengers responsibility to know the requirements of your destination. When you go to the CDC website they link to the law- written in legalese about the requirements. We wanted just a bullet point list. Do we need a negative test? How far in advance? What kind of test? Any other requirements? We took a test and hoped the negative result would allow us to board the plane. If it didn't, we had no idea what we would do. Anyway, our emailed result was deemed acceptable and we had to present it at check-in in Rome before they would accept your checked bags. We were also required to fill out a form for the CDC stating that we were fully vaxxed and tested negative. This paper was dropped at the boarding gate and frankly they did not even look at it, nor were masks required on the Copenhagen to Newark leg of the trip. Rome to Copenhagen, mask up everyone. So, I guess it is just best to be prepared until this thing is squarely in the rearview- which it obviously isn't yet.
I am a little surprised you have lasted this long as that had to be pretty boring reading about our planning and preparations that will help us for next time. I just wanted to get this stuff written in one place as a jumping off point for next time. That’s it. Until next time. There will be no further blog posts for our time in Bari. (though if you don't have enough Italy yet, you can check our travel journal for Florence)
b) We opted not to take extraordinary measures for our cars. One was parked to have someone start it once a week, while the other was just parked for the duration. Insurance coverage was adjusted accordingly (to a withdrawn from use for the one that was not driven). The one that was started started fine. The sitting had not done any favors for the brakes. In the future I will try to find someone willing to drive the car a short distance every couple of days. With the car that was not driven, I forgot to disconnect the battery and as expected, it was dead. We did jump it, but the brakes were problematic on this one too. I took it to the shop to have them load test the battery and inspect brakes. The battery was in need of replacement and the brakes needed new rotors. It is unclear how in need both of these were before we left and how much came from the sitting. We purchased rustproof rotors, so hopefully this will not be an issue next time.
c) We installed a Nest- a digital thermostat that can be viewed and adjusted online. We check it every day and see that our 55 degree minimum has not been breached. We did ask one friend who works in the area to stop in once a week to flush the toilet and report on anything that needed attention.
d) We were able to forward our mail to my sister who would send photos of incoming mail and open what we needed her to. Otherwise, she just put it in a pile for return at a later time. All of these methods seemed to have worked and we would need to repeat.
e) Reschedule any appointments for during the time we were gone or set an appointment upon return.
f) Put monthly charges on hold- like a gym membership or Netflix, we put them on hold. We did keep Hulu and were able to watch it using a VPN- I think I have heard it isn't possible to watch a US Hulu account in Italy without the VPN.
Packing. As usual, when I go on vacation, I go through my current selection of clothes to pull the items I want to travel with. Everyone, at some time, has clothing that gets worn beyond use. Threadbare socks. Underwear develop holes. Undershirts can rip. Just before every vacation I pull out all of my socks, underwear, and tshirts and find all of those items that have outlived their welcome in my clothing drawers. I purposely pack all of the items that are in need of replacement and supplement with newer items. As these items get worn on the trip I toss them instead of carting them home to be washed. This space adds up and can be used to fit items purchased abroad into luggage.
Language. And this is 100% on me. When I lived in Ukraine, for the first three months, Peace Corps required an intensive language class in addition to placing us in the home of a family who spoke zero English- thus forcing us to use what we learned and have them help you to use your language practically. I learned that when I am forced to do something, I do it. So I worked on improving my Russian to levels that they wanted to hear. However, once we got our sites, some of our work people spoke English and most did not. People who were placed in a non-English site, their Russian level improved for the next two years. Me? I had a counterpart with advanced English and was taking advantage of my placement to improve her English skills. Without a host family or a job site who was even slightly interested in what I was doing, my improvement relied on my initiative to learn it for myself by engaging in conversation and I will admit I took the easy way out. I learned the words I needed to know and would carry on basic conversations but widening my vocabulary was painfully slow due to my attitude. I knew if I was ever going to improve my skill, this was the one place to do it...all I had to do was make more of an effort. And I dropped the ball. As I left Peace Corps I was able to place as an intermediate speaker of the language, which was a win for me. But I knew that I had missed an opportunity that I might never get again. As we prepared to come to Bari I thought, I know it is only two months, but I can use this time to do some serious immersive language learning. I bought a dictionary. I got language apps on my phone. I lived with a fluent speaker for crying out loud. But, beyond the stuff I learned before we left (mostly riding in the car with El) I picked up very few words. I learned “may I have…”, “please”, and “thank you” so at least I would be polite, but adding further phrases was not on my to-do list. I leave not even knowing how to ask someone their name in Italian. It disappoints me. Not that I can’t ask a simple phrase, but because I remember how disappointed I was in my missed opportunity in Ukraine, and to have not used this time for self improvement. Well, it just kinda sucks. I had written about tools of communication such as Google Translate, but I know there is something to be said for making the effort to not have to rely on crutches like a fluent partner. Was I able to get what I needed, politely? In most cases, yes. But it seems another opportunity has been missed. Why am I thinking about this now? Because for our first time in a foreign extended stay, we wanted to go to a place where language wouldn’t be the biggest barrier, that's why we chose Italy. Next time, we probably won’t. And I know, that as much as I say I want to use a future immersion to learn another language at least to a basic level, my track record says otherwise. Like a smoker who quits every week and may or may not eventually try once that sticks, I need to be optimistic that the next time will be that for me. And if not, at least I will learn “may I have…”, “please”, and “thank you” so at least I will be polite.
Food. I loved being able to shop for our own food at the markets (farmers and super alike) and making food at home. Of course this helped with the expenses and allowed us to enjoy local items close to the source. I mean, having a guy sell you fresh made mozzarella any day you want and only being two blocks from the house- there is something great about that. A lunch with fresh mozzarella slices, fresh tomato, some basil leaves, and a drizzle of incredible tasting local olive oil- oh, and a pinch of salt. Ecstacy on a plate. And that is just one example. Great, and cheap, wine. The bread, fresh baked multiple times a day. I could go on. And I will. Fresh made pasta shops. Handmade pasta, not sold in shops. Focaccia at bakeries that have a digital countdown clock outside so you know when the next tray is coming out of the oven. And getting that focaccia hot out of the oven with rosemary, olive oil, and salt (though I admit to liking mine with a little fresh or sundried tomato on top). These were things that I appreciated that I may not have been able to have had we gotten a hotel or (or a place without a stove). True you could have a mozzarella and tomato plate at a restaurant. But buying a loaf of fresh bread is not likely to happen if you don't have a place to store it.
Weather. We have a long standing tradition of taking our yearly vacations in the winter. In most years by the time mid-February rolls around we are looking at the calendar trying to figure out just how much longer this cold is going to last. So we pick a place that is warmer than us. Don’t care where, just warmer than here and by the time we return, there is only a short time left in the season to endure. Technically, Bari qualified. But, although consistent, we were in the 40’s at night with highs in the 50’s during the day. I am not saying that we need 90’s, nor am I saying this was unreasonable, I just figured that we would be consistently in the 60’s and 70’s for most of our time there, but we weren't. I think I would prefer a little more shorts weather and less sweater weather. I’m looking at you South America! Phones. It was essential that both El and I had our own cell service plans. When we travel for a week or more, we will just get one local plan and I will either tether to her or use wifi when available. But for this long, the two plans were essential. For this trip, El got a TIM plan and I used Iliad. Not sure if one was better than the other, but when you sign up, you need to ensure you are not on an automatic plan. It is better to have to go to the store to update/pay for a month in person than have your credit card be autocharged.
Italian Trains. In Italy there are at least two competing train companies. Trenitalia and Italo. Itlalo was considerably cheaper than Trenitalia, so always check with Italo before purchasing Trenitalia tickets. Money. The ATM’s here worked fine. I withdrew from my Cap Com (credit union) account and KeyBank (standard checking account). Cap Com charged a flat 1% fee whereas KeyBank was about 5%. Needless to say, I withdrew cash from CapCom and paid bills with KeyBank. Also, without asking for which account to withdraw from, it automatically took from the checking account of both. Prescriptions. Our insurance plan sends us a three month supply of meds at once, but if your refill will come due during your time away, you can call them and they will give you an override to fill it before you leave. Call early in case they need an updated script from the doctor.
Taxes. Obviously we want to be filed (and paid if necessary) before April 15. The turnaround time is not long, and with my option of going after we file or returning before we file, my inclination is to get out of town for the coldest part of the winter and return before we have to file. We’ll see.
COVID. The last thing we had to contend with, that, hopefully, we won't the next time is Covid. Being fully vaxxed and having our documenting proof, we had no issues arriving into Europe. We were able to get a rapid test before we left just in case, but it turned out that Sweden wanted to see our card upon arrival and Italy wanted to see our card every time we sat for food service. It was the return that confused us. The US regulations change and it is very difficult to get hard and fast answers to our questions. If you go to the airline website they say it is the passengers responsibility to know the requirements of your destination. When you go to the CDC website they link to the law- written in legalese about the requirements. We wanted just a bullet point list. Do we need a negative test? How far in advance? What kind of test? Any other requirements? We took a test and hoped the negative result would allow us to board the plane. If it didn't, we had no idea what we would do. Anyway, our emailed result was deemed acceptable and we had to present it at check-in in Rome before they would accept your checked bags. We were also required to fill out a form for the CDC stating that we were fully vaxxed and tested negative. This paper was dropped at the boarding gate and frankly they did not even look at it, nor were masks required on the Copenhagen to Newark leg of the trip. Rome to Copenhagen, mask up everyone. So, I guess it is just best to be prepared until this thing is squarely in the rearview- which it obviously isn't yet.
I am a little surprised you have lasted this long as that had to be pretty boring reading about our planning and preparations that will help us for next time. I just wanted to get this stuff written in one place as a jumping off point for next time. That’s it. Until next time. There will be no further blog posts for our time in Bari. (though if you don't have enough Italy yet, you can check our travel journal for Florence)
the last photo we took from our balcony in Bari
Love your writing, love you and El. I love being able to join you vicariously on some of your adventures from my laptop and couch. Looking forward to seeing you again in person. Who knows when that will be? In the meantime, I'm so glad to keep up with you by Blog. Please email me when you start them up again.
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