Another Food (or Drink) First

Today I was offered a cup of “квас” (Kvass), which, according to my reading is “sour beer”. Until now I had heard of kvass, but never seen it or drank it. It was pulled out when I was in the middle of my dinner. I took a smell of it and I knew there was a good possibility I might vomit considering the way this stuff smelled. I asked if it was beer and told “nyet”. Then I looked kvass up in the dictionary, which was just a translation dictionary, so the fact that I got a parenthetical “(fermented drink)” was more than I should have expected from this book. I asked if it was like Coca-Cola- meaning soda, and I got a hand gesture of “Yes. Like Coca-Cola”. I told Tanya that I would need to wait until I had finished my dinner before trying this stuff to avoid potential projectile issues. So, after dinner the moment of truth came where I was going to have to try this stuff. A small cup was poured for me and I went for it. I was able to place the taste immediately…it was the smell of a Newcastle beer that had been sitting in a cup all night to make it completely flat (maybe even with the single cigarette butt floating in it), then mixed with a healthy dose of soy sauce. Yep, soy sauce and flat beer. It was a wonder I didn’t lose my dinner there and then. As I was sitting there trying to keep my food down, her son, Pavil, came in, grabbed a cup, filled it with kvass, and chugged it down. In an ironic twist, this morning I broke into my stash of Pure Vermont Maple Syrup, to which Pavil could not even bring himself to taste…not sure why, but you would have thought I was trying to stick him with a fork the way he high-tailed it out of the room when I offered it. Well Pavil, you keep your kvass on that side of the kitchen and I will keep my maple syrup on this side and I will do my part to make sure the twain never meets. Deal?