Did You Ever Hear The One About...

Did you ever hear the story of how El and I came to eat TV dinners for our first Valentine's Day? (feel free to skip to the next paragraph if you have). We had been dating just over two months and Valentine's Day was coming up. I was still in the wanting-to-impress stage of our relationship. I needed to go to Connecticut for a project and asked if she would come. Valentine's Day was on a Saturday that year so that sort of affected two things. It was obvious that getting a dinner reservation in NYC on Saturday was going to be impossible. Secondly, we were not going to be able to get a room in Connecticut at one of the casino hotels. When I did try to get our dinner reservation, the only thing I was able to get was an 11:30pm slot at one of our favorite places- The Gotham Bar and Grill on Friday, the day before Valentine's Day. When I booked the room in Connecticut, the only thing I could get was a room at a Comfort Inn (or the equivalent). As our weekend came together, the plan was to dine at Gotham late on Friday. Wake up at our leisure on Saturday, drive to Connecticut, and work on my project Saturday night and Sunday. As the subject of Valentine's Day came up, she told me the story of an ex-boyfriend who had gone all out on Valentine's Day and taken her to a local pizza place for chicken wings. I thought, that is what I was competing with?? How could I fail? All I had to do was beat chicken wings, right? Friday came and we went to our late night dinner. It was wonderful, as always, and technically we were there on Valentine's Day. Have you ever gone to a restaurant at 11:30pm? The problem is that you don't finish until about 2:00am! As we walked back to my apartment, stuffed full from dinner, we went to bed and had one of the most memorably terrible nights sleep in the entire span of our relationship. At 6:00am we were awakened by a phone call. I had a group of guys working for me who were self-supervising on this day. The result underscored why I was the boss and not them! By 6:00am they had failed and already had a problem that needed fixing. Tired, still full, and now angry with a work problem, we both quickly packed our bags for the night in Connecticut and headed out to Long Island. The detour made it not worth it to come all the way back into the city and we planned, then to just head right to Connecticut from there. As I drove to Foxwoods that Saturday morning, we were both feeling terrible. Still tired and still way too full from that dinner that, while excellent, just didn't have enough time to digest. The ride to Connecticut was a few hours and we checked into our motel in the early afternoon. We decided to take a nap to recover from the missed sleep from the night before and then we would go out. Of course, since it was Valentine's Day, the chances of us getting a walk-in seat at any decent place would have been impossible, but we just weren't that interested in another restaurant meal either. We decided to just go to the local supermarket and grab something we could heat and eat in our kitchenette in our room at the motel. After little consideration, we wound up in the frozen food aisle. And that is the story of how we came to eat microwaved Hungry Man Salisbury Steak in a motel in Connecticut on our first Valentine's Day together. I have come to terms with the fact that I am the only person on the planet who couldn't trump chicken wings on Valentine's Day.

I just got off from an hour long Skype with El. We have a pretty decent weekly schedule where we speak every Wednesday during her lunch break at work and then every Sunday we speak for an hour or two either on the phone, or by Skype when it is available for both of us. It is a schedule that has worked pretty well for us for the past year.

Other volunteers often speculate the difficulties a married couple who don't serve together must face. My answer is always the same..."I think it is a lot easier for us as a couple married for 13 years, than for other volunteers who left dating relationships back in the States." This distance could take its toll on any couple, but the amount of time El and I have been together made all the difference to allow it to work for us. One of the characteristics I respect the most about my wife is her independence. Her ability to move forward without having to necessarily wait for me to lead. Of course we can work well together when we are together, but it is important that I always knew she could hold down the fort, so to speak, in my absence.

As we spoke today, I couldn't help but be reminded of how awesome she is. The things she has chosen to do to take up time during my absence is really amazing. Now, she was already plenty involved in running, biking, and triathalons before I left, so her involvement is nothing new. But her training schedule and participation have increased remarkably since I left. Tomorrow she will do her longest triathalon of the season (I am pretty sure that is the distinction of this race) in Syracuse. And as I listened to her describe why she feels ready for the race, I can't help but think of how glad I am to be married to her. Additionally, when the reality of my leaving for two years hit, I know she started a mental list of things she wanted to accomplish over the next two years. A friend of ours said it best when he said the "we were both joining the Peace Corps" because in many ways, the commitment was going to be the same for both of us. So, while I am here doing amazing things, El is home doing some equally amazing things. Before I came here, there was no question in my mind that we would make it through these two years unscathed, and today I am more certain of that than ever. I am married to the greatest person for me that I could imagine.

We are starting to discuss our plans for the next time we will meet. Instead of her coming here again or me going home, we are opting for meeting in a third location. If all goes as planned we will hopefully be spending Christmas and/or New Years together in some magical location. Actually, it doesn't even have to be a "magical location", it could be eating frozen dinners at a Comfort Inn in Connecticut and I would be happy.

Ironically, over the course of our relationship of almost fifteen years now, that is one of the few Valentine's Days I even remember where we were or what we did. It's funny how I seem to have found the only woman that would settle for that...and because of that, I think we are quite perfect for each other. I love you very much and can't wait to work on our life's to-do list together again.

 

PHOTOS ADDED BY ELEONORA - SEE 9/3/2012 Comment