Sold Out?

I have made no bones about my loathsome attitude towards train travel in this country. A necessary evil that I will not miss in the slightest once I exit this country for the last time. Lenara and I just attended a seminar in Kiev which, of course required the arduous component of train travel. The trip there was as expected- saunaesque heat, smells that best remain unidentified, in a wagon with no air circulation except for when the door between cars is opened flooding forward the stink of the toilet and cigarette smoke. Yeah, that bittersweet breeze can wake you up in the middle of a mediocre-at-best night's sleep.

Our return trip, admittedly, was one of the better I have taken in this country. The temperature was good, the people near us a) did not remove their shoes to reveal horrendous smelling feet and b) the outside temperature was low enough that the train wagon rolled along coolly through the nighttime countryside. Besides the fact that our seats were next to the toilet- smelling every bit as good as a pit latrine on a hot July day, it really wasn't the worst ride I have taken. A sad commentary, huh?

One of the many rules when dealing with the train system in Ukraine is that you can only purchase train tickets within 45 days of travel. Depending on where and when you are traveling, this can be a real challenge. I may have mentioned that I live 45 minutes from the summertime train station and 2 hours from the year round train station. I also live in the most popular and most expensive area of the country to get to and from. This means that I need to be ultra-attentive when planning travel. I usually have to plan to buy my tickets exactly 45 days in advance as the shorter the time until travel I try to buy the tickets, the more alternate date and times I need to give the cashier to try to get where I need to be.

I recently, this week in fact, decided that I would like to see Lenny Kravitz in Kiev on September 23. Mom will be visiting and leaving from Simferopol on September 22, so I figured I could take the train from Simferopol to Kiev on the 22nd, arrive on the 23rd, see the concert, and either return home early in the week or later, depending on if host mom Tanya will have me in Chernigov. The first thing I did was to buy my concert ticket. They sell them at a kiosk in Kiev and I bought it for face value. Next, I called Tanya to ask if she would let me stay when I am in town. Really, it is more of a question of if she will be in town or not. She and the rest of the family really like when I visit. Of course she said "with pleasure" when I asked. Now for the next and most complicated piece of the puzzle...buying the train tickets. I, like most volunteers, have a difficult time navigating the cashier offices anyway. Since Ukrainian is the "official" language, travel arrangements are "officially" transacted in Ukrainian. Many, but not all, Ukrainians can at least understand Russian. When I show up with my limited Russian and non-existent Ukrainian skills, I have to trust that the cashier will have some mercy on me and somehow get me through the line. Also, like most volunteers I have taken to writing my request on a piece of paper so that when I get to the front and pass it over like a stickup note, they can at least see what I am asking for. My issue, usually, is that I can ask for a ticket, but I cannot understand why I cannot get one if there is a problem. When that cashier looks through her window and says "nyet-oh" with a face that says, “OK, so what do you want me to look for next?”, I am stumped. Are the seats sold out? Does the train not run on the day? Are the tickets not on sale yet? Is the computer down? There can be as many reasons as there are cashiers and they all have that same disdainful look, eyes looking off to some non-specific point, listening for me to start speaking so she can answer with "what did you say?" as her eyes refocus on me. The thickness of the plastic window, right out of a Vegas casino, doesn’t help the communication process as I bend down to speak through the slot where you put your money for the transaction and she answers back through the soviet era intercom, that most assuredly didn't work that great when it was new. Eons ago. I wrote my request on the paper: 1 ticket to Kiev on September 22 evening or night. A bottom bunk in platzkart AND 1 ticket from Kiev on September 26. As I stand in line without access to a calendar, it dawns on me that today's date could either be 45 or 46 days from the 26th. I get to the front and ask if it is possible to buy my 45 day advance purchase today. She says “yes” and I pass my note through the portal. She can read my writing which is a nice start. She confirms all of my details and tells me that there are no platzkart tickets left on the 22nd- only kupe, which costs almost 50 percent more than platzkart. Kupe are little rooms with a lockable door each with four beds, whereas platzkart is more of an open plan, and instead of a door, each set of four beds is endcapped with two perpendicular beds, resulting in six beds in the same place kupe has just four (there is a first class option that has only two beds per section, but I have heard there is remarkably little difference in comfort level between that and any of the others). The cashier starts asking me if I want different options. The following train may have free seats, but that train might be too late and again, it might not have seats in platzkart. What I need to try to avoid is agreeing to a train that leaves on Sunday (leaving me stuck in Simferopol AND missing the concert, or agreeing to one of the deluxe spots for upwards of 4 times the regular fare). She is telling me that there is a 7:00pm train with no bottom bunk tickets and a 5:00pm train with only kupe spots left. With a growing line behind me all knowing my business due to the back and forth between the cashier and I, I agree to the earlier, kupe ticket. Now, on to the 26th. As she looks at the 26th options, she comes back with the same problems. There are no seats in platzkart, only kupe. But now I really start to question the information I am being fed. Today is the first (possibly second) day that these tickets have been able to be sold. The train is on a Wednesday night, after the summer season has ended and even the stragglers have gone home, and will have at least 500 platzkart places on the train. And you are telling me that they are all sold out?! This is where my language skills hit a wall and I cannot even have a dialogue with the cashier to find out the answer to my question "what am I missing??" Was there some kind of one day only sale that I was not aware of? How is it possible that there are zero platzkart tickets less than 24 hours after they have gone on sale? Lenara hears my issues and runs over to save me (probably from calling bullshit on the information I am hearing from the cashier!) Basically I decide to suck it up and buy the kupe ticket for going to Kiev and I do not buy any return ticket. Since I will be staying at Tanya's, I will be able to widen my options for returning home. I will just wait until I get back to the train station...any train station and try again, but this time being able to offer free dates of an entire week and telling them to just put me on any train- and hoping for the best. I can think of many worse places to be stuck than in Chernigov with my host family who would go to the ends of the Earth for me. And that is a comfort- cashiers at the train station be damned.

(POST SCRIPT)

I went online to the website that gives train information for the Ukrainian system...and it appears that it is true that the train routes I am trying to buy tickets for do not offer any platzkart tickets. I have not heard anything in the way of a deletion of platzkart cars- although I certainly wouldn't put it past the government here to make such a move. It is unclear at this time if these tickets will be available at a later date and which routes would be affected. So far I have no information and as of now, may be forced to purchase the more expensive kupe tickets. And even though this somewhat exonerates the cashier who told me there were no platzkart tickets when I wanted them, just the fact that an entire class of tickets can be erased from all trains subsequent to September 20, 2012 is another reason for me to loathe the train system in this country. Ukraine-1 : Sim-0.