There is
such a thing as overselling your accomplishments. There is also such a thing as
overselling someone else’s abilities. I just spent a very tough hour getting
grilled by ten year olds who I was told by their tutor, had "very
good" English abilities. In town many parents and grandparents hire
English tutors for their kids. I don't know much about this system, in that I
don't know if math tutors and science tutors are hired, as I have only ever
heard about English tutors. Tutoring English is a popular side job for English
teachers and they can obviously charge a premium for their services. I have
been told that teaching salaries are very low and augmenting income with under
the table money is common. In addition to professional English teachers,
sometimes just regular folks who can speak any measure of the language are
hired. This has nothing to do with their ability to speak the language or any
sort of formal or informal ESL training. They are just able to speak some (in
some cases a lot) of English and get hired to teach the kids in towns across Ukraine. One of
the young ladies that regularly attends our English club at the library is one
of these tutors. At the end of our English Club last week, the tutor pulled us
aside and asked Erin and I if we would be guests at her English lesson this
week. Erin was going to be out of town, but I
agreed to be a special guest. I am certain that some of these students have
been taking lessons for about a year or more, and gladly offered myself as a
subject of questions. I remember when I was in Russian language training, our
teachers would arrange for interview subjects that allowed us to improve our
question skills. If done at the right intervals for our levels we could see our
own improvement as a group. At first asking the subject's name and age and by
the end of training being able to ask what sort of experience the subject had
to get their job and where they saw themselves in 5 years. I understand we were
in an accelerated program and taking English lessons for an hour a week is not
the same as having lessons 5 hours a day, six days a week, with a home stay for
practical usage as I had. But, since the kids take English in school, the
tutoring is just more of a polishing, right? I agreed to arrive at noon for the
lesson. When the tutor called me yesterday to confirm the date and time, I was
a little taken aback when she asked me what we were going to do for the
lesson?! "Why are you asking me? It's your lesson. I thought I was coming
as a guest speaker so that people can ask me questions? Did I get that
wrong?" With a sound of confusion mixed with disappointment it was as if
she meant to ask me to plan something and thought she asked me plan something,
but forgot to ask me to plan something. As we hung up I expected my role would
be interview subject and that was all. I wasn't sure if it would be 1 kid or 5.
As I arrived I was welcomed into the apartment by the babushka (who I know). I
had brought my signature drink these days to have everyone try the iced tea. They
are kids so they were excited for something new and American. They drank it
quickly and barely wondered what the ingredients were. All of the chatter was
in 9 year old Russian, so I understood and participated when I could. Then it
was time for the lesson. I wondered, would I ask them questions or would they
ask me questions? Would I interview them or just get them to answer simple
questions about their lives? The kids were 4th graders, so I wasn't exactly
intimidated, but I wanted to be professional for the lesson. I sat down at the
table that had five chairs around it. There were four kids, myself, and the
tutor who took the couch while I sat with the kids. I spoke slowly and clearly
at all times and started with "how are you"? The response: four blank
stares. I sat for a moment and as I was preparing my next whopper of a
question, when the tutor jumped in from behind with, "I am fine" said
in a loud whisper for the whole table to hear. The kids repeated, although they
clearly needed to work on their timing. The repeated answers went around the
table like "the wave". I asked if the kids had prepared some little
introductory bio for me that they could read? With some more coaching, they all
opened their books. Then they went around the table with their rap..."my
name is Alyssa. I am ten. I live in Razdol'noye. I like English." OK, now
we were getting somewhere. The next young lady followed suit with "Mine
name Vika. I.....ten. I........." OK, Vika, nice to meet you. Please let
me know if you think of anything else. The next young lady only said "My
name Tanya." This was without any help from the tutor. I moved on to the
last boy at the table and he had pretty much given up by this point. Deciding
to forgo English altogether and just mumble in Russian under his breath. OK,
now that your intros are out of the way, I will go. "My name is Sim and I
am from America.
Right now I live in Razdol'noye. I have a wife and zero children." Are
there any questions you have for me? Each got busy with their notebooks and
turned to the pages that they had written their questions on at their last
lesson. Question #1 from Vika..."what is your name?" I've said it
before and I'll say it again, "Sim". Her follow up
"how...you?" When I answered "I am fine", she quickly
conferred with the tutor and came back with a revised question of "how
old?" I told them and I moved on to Tanya who had been waiting patiently. "Tanya,
what is your question for me?" She took a nervous gulp and replied with
"what is your name?" I repeated my answer and asked for her next one.
"How old are you?" I was beginning to detect a pattern. A pattern was
quickly dismissed when the boy went, because he looked at his paper for a good
30 seconds before looking to the ceiling and asking what my favorite number is.
Not sure that I have a favorite number, I countered with, "what is your
favorite number?" We went around the table and I learned that their
favorite numbers are three, seven, one, and nine- which after much internal
grappling by the boy was decisively changed to ten. This was staring to get
painful. One girl, Alyssa, at least had several "favorite" questions
for me. Consecutively, I was asked for my favorite animal, color, tree, grass,
and firm. Yeah...grass and firm. Not even knowing how to respond, I had to
throw that grass one back too. "Well, Alyssa, what is your favorite
grass?" I am now thinking of the options, alphalpha, straw, papyrus reeds,
maybe bamboo? What kind of grass?! She actually had an answer.
"Green". Well, I guess I was thinking a little too outside the box on
that one and concurred that green was probably my favorite grass too. I didn't
even want to get started on how cool I think bamboo is! As the hour wore on, it
was obvious that some of the kids were bored by the way they came up with their
own distracting things to do. These included kicking the desk in a droning, rhythmic
thump: accidentally knocking over a bookshelf: prodding each other with a stick
(no idea what an actual branch was doing in the kids' bedroom): and making fart
noises with a cell phone. All of which underscored the reason I do not want to
work with kids...EVER! During this time, the tutor was becoming increasingly
involved with the conversation- to the point that the kids were just trying to
repeat her words instead of using them as a reminder. After she conceded that
the interview/conversational portion of today's lesson had run its course, she
gave them a book with animated drawings and asked the kids to describe anything
they saw in the picture. The boy grabbed the book and searched for the picture
to describe. He flipped page after page looking for the right picture. He
searched. The rest of the table waited. And waited. Until I finally grabbed the
book from him and chose a picture for him. He was somehow able to eek out in semi-sentence
form that the boys were playing chess. I passed the ball to another student who
looked at the picture and proclaimed that the boys were playing chess. I told
her that the effort was good, but that I wanted a new phrase about the picture.
This stumped the panel until the tutor stepped in. At this point I said my thank
you's and goodbye's. The tutor seemed genuinely shocked that I aimed to leave. I
explained that she didn’t need me for describing pictures and in fact, since
she was chalking all of the silence today on me making the children nervous,
maybe she would have better luck if I was gone. On my way out, the tutor asked
if I would return next Sunday. I did not lie when I said I would be out of
town.
She pulled some more teeth to get them to thank me for coming. I
departed by telling them that I had a
good time, but they didn't understand me.
The girls struggling to describe the picture. By this point, the boy has given up.
No comments:
Post a Comment